Are you around people who don’t understand your journey? People who are not taking care of their own reality in this existence or maybe they have non -contributing opinions for you.
It is okay to unhook from this. Firstly affirm yourself by acknowledging the progress big or small that you are making daily towards creating a more meaningful life for yourself.
I really know when something is ‘up’ when someone says something non contributing or sometimes just the other persons presence or behaviour makes me feel uncomfortable.
When we are spiritually growing and edging towards our path-our true self unfolding and calling us to take the lead role. There will be times when others object to what they see or hear from us as we test out our new found ways of setting boundaries or increasing our self- belief.
I remember coming back from workshops in Hawaii and after having experienced all things living in the present moment with wonderful expansion into all that is. I was inspired by what I had learned. An example; there is no such reality as ‘could have been’ or ‘should have’. I took this idea to the extreme. If everything that was true was in the present moment then apologising for a past disagreeance was taking away from the truth of the moment. I had made a small mistake at work and someone was expecting me to apologise. In the testing of my new sense of self I honestly expressed what had happened but did not apologise.
Another strong revelation which guided me and still does (mostly ;)) was that what people think of me was none of my business.
Well this certainly helped me to take personal responsibility and move away from victim like behaviour.
After journeying into self- discovery and spiritual practice for over 15 years. I have a strong bs- ometer for people pushing my boundaries. Family- the most wonderful ones to test where you are at still push the buttons at times. Mostly I am much less hard core these days. I merely state what is true for me and make sure not to debate my own opinion.
The best thing I have learned is not to expect anything from anyone and to back myself even more intensely when someone triggers my own inner cursor or weakness. There are no ‘should be’ or ‘could be’ right? I have a choice to unhook from a negative feeling or thought or remove myself from any situation.
Everything is a choice.
I use simple statements like ‘there goes that thought stating how I am….. not good enough or smart enough or pretty enough or whatever small talk comes in and takes over. If the annoying thought pattern persists I use positive psychologist’s suggestions to turn it into a song. Simple tunes like, Mary had a little lamb or Happy Birthday or another that comes to mind.
You detach from it by making it less powerful over you. It may even have you giggling. Every time you notice this or feel fear or resistance when you venture into new territory or someone affirms a fear you have, use the detachment method and keep moving in the direction you desire.
Keep backing yourself. You are all you have and that IS INSANELY WONDERFUL. What you feel in yourself is your best boundary. People will also feel this.